So today, I was sitting on the couch watching tv, drinking coffee, just enjoying being home alone. Then out of nowhere the doorbell rings. Well, there’s a hole in the blinds from where the dog sticks his head into so he can see outside. So of course, I get paranoid that whoever is at the door is going to walk over and look into the gap and see me sitting on the couch. So I get up and literally just stand in front of the door checking my phone to make sure it’s not someone I know.
I am so socially anxious that I can’t even handle what turned out to be the milk man coming to my door haha.
Most people can go anywhere and strike up a conversation with a stranger. Ya, I can’t do that. I get so anxious just thinking about it. A million questions start buzzing around “what if we have nothing to talk about” “how long should the conversation be” “I don’t want to bother them”, it’s non stop. It’s not like I can avoid talking to strangers the rest of my life so I definitely have to suck it up some days and just deal with what’s in front of me.
My parents have even told me that as a baby I needed alone time. Around the same time every day all of a sudden I would start hysterically screaming and crying. Finally one day, my mom just put me in my crib alone and shut the door behind her. Boom. Instantly stopped crying.
I’m not joking when I tell you that I have to have alone time or I will get real snippy real quick haha. So if you are someone who loves to be around people, I salute you.